And It Felt Like A Kiss: Part Four
by yestermeyesteryou
Summary: Part Four of the multi-part story 'And It Felt Like A Kiss'. Puck has a couple of demons of his own, while at the same time making it hard for Blaine to forget about his.
1. It's a terrible beauty we've made

_Disclaimer__: The author of this piece does not, in any way, profit from the story and all creative rights to the characters from Glee belong to their original creators._

___Summary__: Part Four of the multi-part story 'And It Felt Like A Kiss'. Puck has a couple of demons of his own, while at the same time making it hard for Blaine to forget about his._

___Notes____: Will be two chapters in total._

___Enjoy!_

* * *

"Damn, I always keep forgetting that Puck has a kid."

"Well, she's not 'his', but yeah." Blaine accepted the salt shaker from his brother and poured some over his fries. "They meet like every two years or so, she knows where she comes from. But you're right, it's not something he talks about a lot."

Cooper took a bite from his burger. "Are you going to meet her this time?"

The question was met with a little shrug. "I honestly don't know, it's up to Puck. And Beth, and Shelby I guess. I mean, this is his thing and he's barely involved as it is so, you know."

"You don't think he wants you to meet her?"

"I don't know."

* * *

"Look at you, you're nervous!" Blaine approached Puck with a big smile on his face, who in turn was standing in front of the bed on top of which several shirts were laid out. "That one's nice." Blaine pointed at a checkered black and dark blue button-up.

"Yeah…" Puck grabbed it and put it on.

Sitting down on the bed, Blaine put his hands on his lap while studying the other options of attire that had not made the cut. "When was the last time you saw her?"

"Two and a half years ago."

"It's going to be fine, you'll have a great time." He offered a reassuring smile.

Puck finished buttoning the shirt and walked over to the drawer to grab his watch. "We're going to town, I guess she'll want to go shopping and maybe see some museum, but you should join us for dinner tonight if you'd like."

Blaine actually looked surprised. "Yeah, yeah sure. If you think it's ok."

For the first time since the beginning of the exchange, Puck smiled. He leaned down over his boyfriend to give him a kiss on his forehead. "Of course it's ok, I just need some alone-time with her first and then we'll all grab a bite to eat." He ruffled Blaine's hair up a bit. "Wish me luck."

"Break a leg."

* * *

"_You here alone?"_

_Blaine looked up from his almost empty drink to where the voice by the bar came from. "My friend cancelled, didn't get the message until I got here. So, yeah." He smiled. The man was tall, handsome and a good couple of years older, tie a little looser than appropriate for the job which suggested he was here enjoying after-work. Come to think of it, he was very, very handsome. Blaine's breath suffered just a tiny hitch as the man sat down next to him._

"_Care for another one?" He waved at the waiter._

_Blaine swallowed. "Yeah, sure. Thanks."_

"_What's your name?" A strong hand was extended to him, accepting it._

"_I'm Blaine."_

"_Nice to meet you Blaine, I'm Mark."_

* * *

"Hi, I think my party is already here, probably under 'Puckerman'."

"Excellent, I'll show you to your table." Blaine followed the waiter into the restaurant, to a round table occupied by Puck and a girl with dark brown hair and green eyes.

"Hi, you must be Beth, I'm Blaine." He reached out his hand towards her, throwing a quick glance at Puck. "It's so to meet you, I'm, yeah…" She shook his hand in return.

"Yes, Hi. It's nice to meet you too."

Immediately Blaine could see a resemblance. He took a seat on the chair next to Puck, giving his knee a little squeeze under the table. "Hi there."

"Wine?" The waiter was back, offering to pour a glass from the bottle that was already on the table.

"Yes, please."

Puck cleared his throat. "So, Blaine is who I live with now, as I said before we've been together for a while." He shot Blaine a quick smile, looking as nervous as earlier in the bedroom while he handed a menu over to him.

Beth took a big sip from her coke, chewing a bit on an ice cube before settling her glass back on the table. "What happened to Carl?"

Without missing a beat, Blaine's attention was back on Puck, who threw his eyes towards the table before looking at Beth, completely ignoring Blaine's humorous stare. "Uhm. Carl isn't in the picture anymore. It's just Blaine now."

"Oh, Ok. Where did he go?"

Carefully Puck dared to look up at his boyfriend for just a second before continuing. "Well, he left. To New York."

"Why?"

"For a job, how about you Beth? Do you have a boyfriend?" For probably the first time Blaine saw his boyfriend actually looking flustered, finding it sort of comical under the circumstance.

"Yeah, but he's kind of dumb."

Now this was a topic Blaine could get into. "Teenage boys are almost always pretty dumb though, aren't they Puck?"

The paramedic poured himself another glass of wine. "Yeah, they usually are."

* * *

"_And I went to Ghana last summer, now that was really cool but not as sunny as you'd expect, at least not when I went."_

"_Wow…" Puck took a sip of his beer, mesmerized by the exhilarated guy sitting across from him in the booth at his usual sports bar hangout that he loved, in a city he almost despised. "I feel a little embarrassed to tell you this but… I've never been outside of the United States. I haven't even been to Canada."_

"_Dude, that's fine. My dream was just always to visit every continent. And now I have. Now my dream is to write about them, while your dream was to save people's lives, which you do. Every day. I think that's pretty noble."_

_Between getting lost in that pair of striking blue eyes and the person they belonged to's way with words, he didn't even have time to notice that the pitcher of beer was empty._

"_Hey, Noah. You want more beer right." Carl took the pitcher in his hand and raised it, gesturing towards the waiter for a new one. _

"_You just think of everything, don't you?"_

_A blue eye winked at him. "That's basically what I do."_

* * *

"So, who's 'Carl'?" Blaine looked over at Puck, sitting at the other backseat in the cab.

"Well, he left. About two and a half years ago. To New York."

"For a job?"

Puck looked out the window, even though it was pretty much too dark to see anything. "For a guy."

"I'm sorry." Blaine looked down at his hands. "For how long were you together?"

A heavy sigh caused the window to fog up just a little. "Three years."

Blaine thought about how he'd never been together with someone for three years. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Puck was still not looking at him. "It had pretty much been over for the last half anyway. Studied journalism, travelled a lot. A couple of years younger, kind of immature but then again at the time so was I."

"Do you think about him?"

Puck turned his head forwards, reaching out to give Blaine's knee a little squeeze and a shake. "Not really, I don't miss what we had. Sometimes I miss him I guess but I wouldn't want to be with him. Not anymore." He sort of squinted his eyes for a moment, almost seeming confused by what he was about to say. "Do you think about Mark?"

Still looking down at his hands in his lap, Blaine let out a soft chuckle. "Yeah, in my nightmares."

Finally Puck's eyes found his. They were smiling. "Ok."

* * *

"_Cool place. What was it that you do again?"_

_Mark took Blaine's jacket and hung it by the door. "Boring things. Business. Let's talk about something else. Wine?"_

"_Sure." Not that he really needed any._

"_How do you like being a teacher?" They continued to the kitchen._

"_Love it. Hate it. You know how it goes." Blaine accepted the glass reached out to him. "Thank you."_

_They just looked at each other under the dim lights for a moment, Blaine realizing while sipping on his wine that ever since the initial exchange of words at the bar he'd been in some kind of ridiculous romantic bliss. Knowing how these things usually went, and seeing as this wasn't even a first date because they had just met by accident three hours earlier, he decided to throw all caution out the window just in case they wouldn't meet again._

"_Want to show me your bedroom?"_

_Mark grabbed the almost empty glass from Blaine's hand, setting it on the kitchen counter. "I thought you'd never ask."_

* * *

It hadn't been a lie.

Blaine did have nightmares. Not often, and usually only when he slept alone, which was even less often now since they had started living together with Puck working more days than nights, and Blaine was grateful for the fact that if he had to have them they almost always came when no one was around. Almost.

Finding himself almost thrown into a sitting position, Blaine gasped for air as he woke up. Holding a forearm over his eyes, he took a couple of deep breaths before letting it down and looking around the room.

Next to him Puck shot him a worried look from where he laid, doing something with the cellphone in his hand. "Are you Ok?"

"You're here?" It was all Blaine could say before realizing that he had to throw up, jumping off the bed and running towards the bathroom. Cursing himself for not getting the door closed and locked he decided it was a better move than throwing up on the floor. Fumbling around with his right hand, he reached over to the sink managing to get the tap running, possibly drowning out at least some of the sounds. When he was finished, he could see Puck's feet standing in the doorway when he turned his head to rest on his arm.

"Are you sick?"

Blaine nodded, feeling a gentle hand rub up and down his spine as Puck came down to sit next to him on the floor.

"Or was it a nightmare."

He stopped nodding, but the tear that sprung from the corner of his eye as he blinked answered the question for him.

"I usually don't… when you're here. You weren't here."

"I had pulled so many extra shifts and was pretty out of it last night, so they sent me home at like two."

"Ok." Blaine stood on shaky legs with a bit of help from Puck, and turned to the sink to wash his face.

"What was it about?"

Splashing his face, watching as the water fell bouncing off the walls of the sink he shook his head. "I can't."

"Ok…" The hand found its way back to his spine. "Ok."

"I'm sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry for."

More water.

"It's just… This one time towards the end. I've tried to block it out because I was really, really drunk when it happened and so was he, but it keeps finding its way back, you know? Sometimes I pretend it never happened, it's just a nightmare. It is a nightmare." He reached to turn off the tap, leaning forwards on his hands. "The next day I didn't even care. But I do, now."

"Don't worry babe."

Blaine turned around to face Puck. "I know."

"Maybe you should talk to your therapist about it?"

"Nah…"

"Why not?"

Puck followed Blaine into the kitchen, who poured himself a glass of water. "Because I stopped going."

"Blaine…"

"What? I'm over it, I'm not some broken thing that needs fixing." The glass came down on the counter with a loud bang.

"I don't think you are, I never said you were."

"I don't see everyone running off to therapy every time something goes wrong, you've been hurt by someone you loved. Did you talk to someone about it?"

"No, but I didn't spend months living with a person who systematically beat and raped me."

Their voices had gotten louder with every word, but when Blaine looked down at his feet while grabbing onto the edge of the kitchen counter, his voice was small. "Could you please not use that word." He walked past Puck, out of the room.

"Blaine, I'm sorry."

He threw a look behind his shoulder. "I know, it's Ok but just, don't." Blaine kept walking. "And he didn't 'beat' me, he hit me, occasionally."

"Blaine…"

"I have to get ready for work."

* * *

Puck pulled up the ambulance in front of the construction site, jumping out of the vehicle along with his partner. A substantial part of scaffolding had fallen, and they didn't have time to waste getting the fallen workers taken care of and sent to the hospital. Firemen were already at the site, trying to clear the area and get people out of the way.

"Walk between these metal rods, but try not to touch anything once you get over there because it's still unstable."

"Thanks." Puck ran towards the spot where two men were laying, one seeming unconscious and the other cradling his left arm, followed by his partner and two other paramedics who had just arrived. The other three got to work on the unconscious man, getting him up on a gurney and into an ambulance, as Puck kneeled down next to the man with the probably broken arm.

"Sir, can you move your arm?"

"No…" His facial expression made it clear that he was in pain.

"If I help you stand, do you think you can walk with me to the ambulance? Or we can wait for a gurney to get here but I don't know how long that's going to take."

"I think I can stand."

Puck offered a hand and held onto the unbroken arm's shoulder. "Perfect. Now you just tell me if you need to stop and we'll stop." The two rose to stand carefully on their feet. "Ready?"

A loud bang could be heard from above, and that was the last thing Puck remembered from the site.

* * *

"Blaine?"

"Yes?" Blaine looked up from his desk, disrupted from his task of correcting papers to the unusual silence of his class working on a creative writing exercise, seeing Matilda from the reception in the doorway.

"Would you be so kind and step out for just a moment?"

He rose from his seat. "Kids, keep working and I'll be right back." Shutting the door behind him he followed Matilda down the hall. "What's going on?"

"There's a call for you at the front desk."

"From?"

"St. Clarence Hospital downtown."

"That's where Puck works." Blaine froze in his tracks for a moment, before running ahead towards the reception where the phone was laying on the desk.

"Hello?"

"Hi, this is the ER calling from St. Clarence Hospital, am I speaking to Blaine Anderson?"

He could feel his heartbeat going faster and faster. If Puck wanted something he would just call himself, and he would call his cellphone for that matter.

"You're the first contact for Noah Puckerman, he works here."

"Yes, yes I know." In the corner of his eye he could see Matilda sitting down on her chair, nervously biting her nails while looking at him.

"He's been in an accident, but he's going to be fine. He suffered a dislocated shoulder and an arm fractured in two places while working with a patient at a construction site."

"Is he awake?"

"Yes, he fell unconscious but woke up about 10 minutes ago, I'm afraid that's all the information I can give you at the moment but feel free to come down to the ER because he's going to have to stay here for a couple of hours and will probably need a ride home."

"Yes, yes of course." Blaine could feel himself relax a little bit to the news that he was awake, but in his gut he felt sick from hearing about Puck being in an accident. "Thank you, goodbye."

As if on cue, Sam walked past the front desk.

"Sam, you have to help organize something for my class because I have to go, Puck's been in an accident."

"What?"

"He's going to be fine, but I have to go."

"I'll help." Matilda chimed in.

Sam just nodded.

"Thanks guys, I'll talk to you later." And with that Blaine was out the door and on his way.

* * *

"Fuck!"

Blaine was about to ask the woman at the front desk of the ER where Puck was, but he didn't really need to after hearing him swear loudly from down the hall. Simply following the voice, Blaine found Puck sitting on a hospital bed behind a curtain almost immediately.

"Uhm, Hi." Blaine looked at Puck being prodded at by a doctor. He seemed to be in extreme pain but also managed to notice him standing there.

"Blaine, Hi." He smiled for half a second before giving into the pain once more. "Fuck… that hurts."

The doctor gave him a serious look. "I strongly suggest you let me give you some morphine for the pain."

"For the last time, I am not taking any morphine. Damn…"

Blaine hissed at the picture in front of him, as the doctor was putting Puck's arm, covered in a fresh cast, into a sling.

"Ibuprofen?"

"Better."

"I'll be right back." The doctor disappeared from the enclosed section.

"Are you Ok?"

Puck looked up at Blaine again, at least attempting to smile. "I will be, it's fine."

"Puck, about this morning… I'm sorry, I think my attitude…"

"No, no it was me, I'm sorry. Let's not think about it." Now the smile was actually working.

"Ok. I just felt bad, last time I saw you I just left."

"It's Ok."

"So what happened?" Blaine walked over to sit next to Puck.

"Piece of scaffolding fell down on me and knocked me out, woke up here with a cast on my arm. Apparently they managed to set my shoulder 'cause it had popped out, and my arm is broken in two places."

"God…"

"But you know, it's fine. It's just my arm." Puck let the hand on his good arm fall on Blaine knee, giving it a little squeeze. "I've had worse accidents."

Blaine looked up at that. "Like what?"

"Responded at this broken bridge once, we were basically climbing around trying to pull people to safety. Fell down, broke my leg."

"Oh. That sucks."

"Yup."

The curtain flew open. "Here, Mr. Puckerman."

"Thank you."

* * *

"What's up with the morphine?"

"Huh?" Puck looked at Blaine from the passenger seat.

"You didn't want any, but it must hurt a lot, or?"

"Right…"

Blaine shot him a look while trying to keep focused on the road. "Right?"

"You know how I broke my leg, it was a couple of years back." Puck looked down at the hand of his un-fractured arm resting on his knee. "Got morphine, liked it. A lot."

Blaine had a feeling he knew where this was going, trying his best not to let his eyes wander from the road.

"Leg healed, but it was easy for me to come across more, way too easy. Had a bit of a problem with it but no one noticed. Took some time off, went to a center to get it sorted out and when I came back I got to keep my job, this was back in Boston. Because they didn't know. I was very lucky for being so stupid."

Blaine looked over quickly, for as long as he could. "I'm sorry, Puck. But you're not stupid. You're really good for saying no."

Puck smiled at him "Thanks, but I was stupid, at least back then. I worked so hard to make something out of myself, and I could have thrown it all away so easily." He paused, looking down at his hand again. "Thank you for not being pissed or freaking out about it."

"Of course not. We've all done things we're not proud of."

A chuckle was heard from the passenger seat "Oh really? Now I'm intrigued. Don't tell me Blaine, it was crystal meth, wasn't it?"

"No... and that's incredibly insensitive, especially for you."

"Hey, I recovered. I get to be insensitive. So what is it?"

"Well."

"Well…?"

"I used to perform at theme-parks."

Laughter echoed between the walls of the car. "I'll take my morphine addiction over that any way."

"You're a horrible person."

* * *

"_Aw, poor you." Carl looked down at his boyfriend, laying on the couch with a cast wrapped tightly around his leg, crutches on the floor beside him._

"_Don't laugh. I'm miserable."_

_Carl threw himself on a chair beside the couch, opening a bag of chips while casually flipping through the channels._

"_At least they gave me something."_

"_What?" He threw a handful of chips into his mouth._

"_Morphine."_

"_Shit. Careful with that, that stuff's potent."_

"_It's fine, I studied this."_

"_Hey, can I have some?"_

"_Hell no."_

"_Just kidding." He threw the bag of chips at Puck._

"_Sure you were."_

* * *

"Ok, got a blanket, chips, water, remote, anything else you need?"

"Blaine, I can move around. It's one arm."

Blaine looked down at his boyfriend, basically tucked in on the couch. "Sure, but you shouldn't have to carry too much. Leftovers are on a plate in the fridge."

"Thanks." Puck smiled up at him. "You're awesome. I wish you could just lay with me on the couch and watch bad daytime TV all day."

"Well, some of us still have all our limbs intact and have to go to work." He bent down to give Puck a kiss goodbye.

"I'll miss you."

"You too, see you later."

* * *

_The second the door shut, Blaine found himself with his back pressed against it, a hot mouth on top of his while hands roamed up and down his body._

"_How do you like it, Blaine?"_

"_However you want it."_

"_Come here." Mark dragged him towards the bed, falling on top of it together. Clothes came off surprisingly quickly, and soon they were laying under the covers, Mark leaning on his side looking down at Blaine. He reached for something in his drawer and positioned himself between Blaine's legs, who pulled up his knees, moaning moments later in response to the fingers working on him._

_Soon he had his legs wrapped around the man above him, trying to push down at every thrust._

"_You good?" Mark had his face buried in the space between Blaine's neck and shoulder, letting his hot breath tickle the sensitive skin there, thrusts coming harder and faster._

_Blaine found it difficult to form any coherent opinion._

"_Good. I'm good."_

_Good. _

_Really Good._

* * *

"Hi, this is Blaine."

"Little brother! How the hell are you, kid?"

"Good, good. Bringing home the dough while Puck lays on the couch eating cereal out of the box."

"Sounds great. Hey, I have a little proposition for you."

"Let's hear it."

"I've been invited to speak at this drama institute in New York for this weekend workshop and I can bring a guest, Becca is swamped at work so she can't come. It's in three weeks."

"Are you asking me or did you just want to gloat?"

"I'm asking you, idiot."

"Uhm, I'd feel kind of bad leaving Puck, he'll still be on leave and he's just been walking around thinking everything sucks right now for the last two weeks."

"Bring him, I get two rooms if I want to and I'm sure you can scrape together enough for one ticket."

"Actually yeah, why the hell not. Maybe that'll knock him out of the zombie-mode, who doesn't like New York."

"Awesome, call me when you know."

"I will, bye."

"Bye."

* * *

"_You've been out of your cast for months, why the hell are you still taking this shit Noah?"_

"_What?" He looked up at his boyfriend, who was holding a bottle of pills. "Fuck…"_

"_Yeah. Fuck" Carl threw the bottle at Puck. "Who the hell is still prescribing that? Got some guy on the inside?"_

_Puck mumbled something under his breath._

"_What was that?"_

"_I took it."_

"_You took it?"_

"_I took it. Alright? I fucking took it."_

"_So you're not only a deadbeat dad, you're also a drug addict."_

"_What the hell does Beth have to do with this? She's fucking adopted, she's not mine. I only had her, she isn't mine to have."_

"_Whatever. Maybe instead of being so focused on saving other people's lives you should make sure you don't ruin yours and mine in the process."_

_Silence._

"_I'll get help. I promise. I just. I just need your help."_

"_If you promise, then I'll promise. But if you don't, I can't stay with you and you know that."_

"_I promise."_

_**TBC**_


	2. So we make our love on wasteland

_Blaine was startled as the shower curtain was drawn to the side, relaxing at the sight of Mark climbing in._

"_Sorry to step in like this, but I have to get ready for work."_

"_No, no problem, it's your shower. I figured if I have to walk into school wearing the same clothes as yesterday the least I can do is not smell of sex and alcohol."_

_Mark chuckled. "Want to borrow a shirt from me?"_

"_Really? That would be really great, actually." Blaine felt honestly surprised by the kind offer. "I guess I'll have to figure out a way to return it to you."_

_Another heartfelt chuckle filled the hot steam in the enclosed space around them "I think I can live with that arrangement."_

* * *

"What do you two crazy kids want to do first?"

"Take a nap at the hotel?" Puck threw a hopeful look at Blaine, chucking down the last drops of his soda and tossing it in a trash can before they would reach security.

Cooper let out a heavy sigh, having hoped for a more exciting reply. "Don't be so lame, I hope you'll get more into the spirit on the plane."

Blaine chimed in. "We'll take a quick nap and then go out for dinner, how about that?"

"You're the best." Puck leaned in and gave his boyfriend a kiss on the side of his head as they arrived at the security check point. "You guys can go first."

They put their hand luggage on the conveyor belt, all three having made it through the metal detector when a woman tapped Puck on the shoulder.

"Sir, is this your bag?" She asked, holding his messenger bag in her hands.

"Yes." Puck turned his head towards Blaine and Cooper who already got their things. "You guys go ahead, I'll be right there."

"I'm going to buy cigarettes." Cooper walked off into the nearby store while Blaine stayed, curiously looking on from a short distance.

"Are there any sharp objects, such as needles, that I might hurt myself on going through your bag?" The woman was standing opposite of Puck in front of a metal table.

"No mam." Puck threw a look over at Blaine. "You can go with Cooper, I'll be there in a second."

"It's fine, I'll wait. We're all taking the same plane anyway."

"Sir, do you have a prescription for these morphine pills?" The woman held up a small orange bottle, the pills inside of it giving off an almost deafening rattle in Puck's ears.

"Yup." He dug a hand in his pocket, pulling out his wallet to present a piece of paper.

She studied it for a moment. "Excellent. That would be all, sir. Thank you for your cooperation and have a pleasant journey."

Puck closed his bag and threw it over his shoulder, stuffing his wallet back into his pocket and walked by Blaine. "Come on, let's go."

Blaine had to take a second before following his boyfriend towards the gate. "Puck…"

"Let's talk about this later."

* * *

"_You said you wouldn't leave, Carl. I got clean, I let you meet my daughter. I did everything."_

"_I met someone."_

"_Someone who?"_

"_Someone in New York."_

"_What? When?"_

"_Last month. When I went there. Are you sure you're off the drugs? Because your attention span seems a little off."_

"_You promised."_

"_Well, I guess I can't be trusted. You put me through a lot of shit, Noah, don't pretend like you're all innocent."_

"_This is what you're telling me as you pack your fucking stuff. Because you're leaving. To fucking New York for some guy?"_

"_I'm sorry Noah, but I can't stay here."_

"_Neither can I."_

"_Then leave! If you hate it so much then just leave."_

_And about one year later. Puck did leave._

* * *

"I think I'll just sleep and get room service so I'm well rested for tomorrow, why don't you guys just get dinner without me." Puck tried on his best smile, offering it to Cooper.

"How about that, kid?"

"Yeah. Sure." Blaine threw his bag into the room while Cooper leaned against the doorway.

"I don't need anything, should we just go?"

"Yeah."

They walked down the street from the hotel until they came across a nice looking Italian place, where the pizzas were pricey but delicious and the wine was cheap. Afterwards they kept walking, hoping to find a bar for a celebratory drink to the first night out in the city.

"Cigarette?" Cooper held his pack open as they walked, lighting the one hanging between his lips.

Blaine shook his head "I kind of quit. A while ago."

The older brother persisted. "Come on, it doesn't count if you're drinking."

Finally Blaine gave in, accepting a smoke and letting Cooper light it for him. "You're a horrible influence with a horrible sense of logic."

"Becca quit, I need a smoking buddy."

"Sure, if it doesn't count. I am on vacation."

"That's the spirit."

* * *

Blaine swiped his key card in the door, feeling just a little buzzed from the wine and the drink but still relatively sober. Once inside, he found his boyfriend laying on the bed, still dressed and awake watching some movie.

"Hi. You didn't stay out that long."

Blaine kicked off his shoes and threw his jacket on the bed next to Puck. "Nah." He didn't really know what he wanted to say to him, so he decided to dig through his bag for his toothbrush instead.

"You're smoking again?"

He stood up from his bag for a moment before continuing his search. "You're on morphine again?"

"Ouch."

Finally Blaine turned towards Puck, toothbrush in hand. "You know you could have told me, I get that you're in pain but if you really almost lost everything you had worked so hard for once why go down that road again? Especially when you got away with it the first time, that doesn't happen twice."

"Could I have told you? Do you hear how accusatory you sound?"

"Wha… I, I don't know Puck. I just don't get it." He felt a little hopeless at the situation.

"Of course you don't get it."

"What's that supposed to mean? I care about you, I just don't want you to do anything stupid."

"You're not the only person in the world with problems, Blaine."

Now Blaine felt like the accusations had shifted. "You think that's how I feel? You've lost your mind."

"Why can't I do just one thing for me, that makes me feel good?" Puck's voice was almost desperate, and it was hard for Blaine not to just feel sorry for him. He did feel sorry for him; he knew sometimes people didn't always do what's best for them. In fact, sometimes they did what was worst for them.

"But you were doing so good."

"You're one to talk, Blaine. I have one relapse. One. And it's not even a problem, I'm taking it for the pain in my fucking arm and it's under control. It makes me feel good. It's prescribed, I haven't stolen anything. Wasn't it you who ran into a guy's fist like 20 times before even starting to 'do good'?"

That helplessness of feeling sorry quickly disappeared, feeling those damn tears stinging behind his eye threatening to come out. He wouldn't let them. "You always do this. You always find a way to blame me for what happened, and I really hope that you have actually lost your fucking mind. I wish you and your controlled morphine habit a goodnight. See you tomorrow." He kicked his feet back into his shoes and grabbed his jacket from the bed.

"Blaine… I, I'm sorry. Fuck. Where you going?" Puck climbed off the bed.

"I don't know, but please don't follow." He opened the door to get out, stopping in the doorframe for a second before leaving. "I don't think I'm the only person who has problems and I care about yours, deeply. But it would be a lot easier for me to forget mine if you wouldn't constantly throw them at me."

The door slammed shut.

"Damn…"

* * *

Blaine took the elevator down, walking over to the reception with a plan of getting another room for the night when he saw Cooper sitting at the hotel bar, deciding to walk up to him.

"You're still up?"

"Yeah, I told you I might check it out. Unlike you I haven't got someone to keep me occupied in my room until I get tired." Cooper took a sip on his vodka tonic. "Speaking of which, why aren't you upstairs engaged in a session of hot hotel room sex with your beau? Puck's arm getting in the way or something?"

Cooper's annoying way of being himself always had a tendency to cheer him up as he took a seat next to his brother, relaxing a bit. "Can I sleep in your room tonight?"

Setting his glass down on the bar, Cooper carefully looked over at Blaine. "Why's that, Blaine?"

"Puck's meds make him thrash all over the bed at night, we didn't think about it for this trip but I've actually been on the couch for the last couple of weeks."

Cooper took a deep breath and looked down at his glass. "You're lying, Blaine. I learned to see it from a mile away."

Panicking a little at that, Blaine looked up not wanting his brother to think it was anything other, or worse, than what it really was. "I…"

Cooper looked at him in disbelief, shaking his head. "So he thrashes? That's a good one, Blaine. Because if he's 'sleeping', he can't help it, can he? And I'm sure this one upstairs is smart enough not to hit you where people can see." He threw a couple of bills on the bar and stood up, grabbing his brother by the back of his jacket and started to pull him towards the elevators before Blaine had a chance to react.

Once inside the elevator, he pressed on their floor and crossed his arms while Blaine struggled a bit to control his breath, completely thrown by the situation. "I swear to god, this is nothing like that Cooper. If you just let me explain…"

Before he had a chance to finish the sentence, the doors opened and once again Cooper had a grip on Blaine's jacket, urging him to walk down the hall until they reached his room, where he let go to get the door open. "Get inside."

He walked in, the door shutting behind Cooper who followed closely behind.

"Take off your shirt."

Blaine shook his head, both at the order and at the ridiculousness of it all. "No, I'm telling you and you have to believe me, Puck hasn't done anything. Yes, I lied because the truth is really private and about him, and I don't think I should tell anybody."

"How convenient. You don't have to protect anyone. Take off your shirt."

Two fingers where pointed at him, trembling close to his face and that's when Blaine noticed the tears struggling to stay behind his brother's eyes.

"We have done this before, Blaine, remember? And I can forgive you for lying to me, but I will never, ever forgive myself for believing in you. Now take off your fucking shirt, or I'll do it for you."

Blaine held his hands up in defeat for a moment before shaking his jacket off his shoulders and throwing it on the bed, not wanting to do this but realizing that if he wanted his brother to believe him he had to show him that he had nothing to hide. He started unbuttoning his shirt, also letting it fall off his shoulders to hold it in his hand. "See, there's nothing."

"Turn around."

"Cooper…"

"Turn around."

Blaine stretched out his arms and made a slow turn. "See? Not even a scratch."

Cooper sat down on the bed, letting his head fall into his hands as he rested his elbows on his knees.

Blaine threw the shirt back on, coming to sit down next to him and putting an arm around his brother's shoulders.

"Puck had a problem with morphine a couple of years ago. After breaking his leg on duty. It was bad, but he kicked it without running into any problems at work. He went to a rehab center and everything. When he broke his arm now, he didn't want any so I asked him about it and he told me everything. But, apparently he's back on it. He got it prescribed, I assume because he is in a lot of pain and because no one at work knows the story. We had a fight about it. We both said some bad things, he said something that made me want to get out. But it was just a fight, I know we have to work on his problems together but we're going to be fine. I am fine."

Cooper's back was shaking, and Blaine could tell that he was crying. Finally he sat up straight, wiping his eyes on the back of his sleeve. "That's a really elaborate lie, Blaine." He let out a soft chuckle, looking into his brother's eyes. "Are you sure you're telling the truth?"

Blaine nodded, barely being able to stand the sight of his brother this upset. "I'm sure." He smiled at him.

Cooper stood, walking over to his nightstand taking a couple of sips of water from the bottle that was standing there. "I think Puck is a great guy, and I'm sorry about his situation. I don't think that he would do anything, but I've been wrong before."

"He's a good guy. Great guy. He's just in a bad place."

"Let's raid the mini-bar and watch late-night TV until we pass out."

Blaine laughed, finally feeling his heart a little lighter, having gained his brother's trust and practically forgiven Puck for what he said already.

"Deal."

* * *

Blaine tried to be quiet as he opened the door to his and Puck's room, walking up early in the morning light seeping in through the drapes towards the sleeping figure on the bed.

The small orange jar was sitting next him, and Blaine picked it up to take a look at it only to, in his absolute horror, realize that it was completely empty in contrast to being at least half full the last time he had seen it the day before. Puck lay absolutely still on top of the covers, still in his clothes.

"Fuck…" Blaine started to shake Puck's shoulders, pressing fingers hard into his neck to check for a pulse. "Fuck!" He hit the so far unresponsive man across the face, looking around the room for some water or something while continuing to shake him.

Suddenly, Puck opened his eyes, rising up on his elbows and looking confusingly at Blaine who jumped a step back, while bringing a hand up to his face against his stinging cheek. "What's going on?"

Blaine had to blink a couple of times, forcing himself to relax to the realization that at least Puck was alive at the moment. "Did you…?" He shook the empty jar.

This prompted Puck to frantically shake his head "No! No, no, God no." He took a second to get himself together. "I flushed them down. They're gone, all of it. I'm done."

Blaine turned around, throwing the jar against the wall to take a couple of steps away before facing Puck again. "And you thought it would be a good idea to take a nap next to an empty fucking bottle of pills? After we had a fight? Who the hell does that?"

Puck had to laugh at the scene in front of him, realizing now what it must have looked like. "I'm so sorry Blaine. About last night, and I guess about this. I'm really stupid."

"You look sorry, but yeah. You are fucking stupid…" Blaine couldn't help getting infected by Puck's laughter, feeling his eyes getting wet in relief.

Puck came up from the bed, throwing his good arm around Blaine and pressing kisses against the top of his head. "I'm so, so sorry Blaine. About everything."

"You should be, thanks to you I had to prove to my brother that you don't beat me by basically stripping for him, followed by us having to share his single bed."

"What?"

"You heard me, my night was as bizarre as it sounds. You're in the clear though."

"I'm going to feel like crap all day because I'm coming off it, you guys should just hang out without me. And I'm going to feel like crap tomorrow. I'm sorry for ruining your trip."

"It's Ok."

They kind of just stood there in silence, hugging it out for a moment.

"Hey, did you slap me earlier?"

"Yeah, I guess I'm sorry about that."

"It's Ok. I think I deserve it."

"Don't say that." Blaine was clinging onto Puck almost as if his life depended on it. "But yeah, you totally deserved it."

* * *

"So, boys, what was your favorite part about New York?" Cooper looked away from the window while sipping on a miniature can of coke, looking over at Blaine sitting in the middle with Puck by the aisle.

Puck laughed. "Mine was getting to try pretty much every item on the room service menu."

"Alright. Mine was my boyfriend deciding to beat his apparent drug problem while on the trip." Blaine stated.

A strange noise came from somewhere in Puck's throat, who cleared it while pounding a fist lightly against his chest. "I think I have to throw up again." He got up and ran as fast as one can down a narrow airplane aisle.

Blain cleared his throat. "My least favorite part also happens to be my boyfriend deciding to beat his apparent drug problem while on this trip."

Cooper smiled at him. "Mine was getting to know Puck better. Nothing says 'family' quite as much as helping your little brother clean off his boyfriend's vomit off a hotel duvet." He let out a soft chuckle. "I know he's made some stupid choices, and I always liked him but I think I like him more now."

"Good." Blaine smiled back. "That means a lot to me."

"I know. And that's exactly why I do. Because you mean everything to me."

* * *

_There was a hand clamping down on his mouth. He tried to bite it. Instead, the hand slapped him across the face._

"_Fuck you."_

_Hands were now grabbing his wrists behind his back, forcing him onto his stomach. He screamed. The body on top of him pressed him onto the mattress, a hand coming up to grab the hair on the back of his head, pulling it back._

"_Shut up."_

"_Please stop…"_

"_Say you want it."_

"_I don't…" The hand let go of his head, letting it fall face first into the pillow, wet from tears._

"_That's not what you said two nights ago."_

_Suddenly the weight was off of him, allowing him to push himself up with his arms. He hugged himself, holding onto his elbows as he scooted over on his knees to sit the by the edge of the bed._

"_Take off your t-shirt."_

_More tears. He shook his head._

"_Stop crying."_

_He let out a shaky breath, pulling the t-shirt off his body and wiping his face with it before throwing it to the side. _

"_Get back here."_

_He scooted back to the middle of the bed, enjoying the few seconds of peace that he assumed were about to end any moment now. As suddenly as they had left, strong hands were back on him forcing him around to face the headboard._

"_Take them off."_

_He hung his head, the tears he had just managed to get to stop finding their way back into his eyes._

"_You can do this the easy way or the hard way, it's up to you."_

_He did nothing._

"_What's it going to be, Blaine?"_

_He could feel his hands almost involuntarily moving down to the hem of his underwear, pulling them down._

_A whisper was hot behind his ear, before having his upper body shoved onto the bed. "Say it."_

"_Fuck me…"_

"_Fuck me what?"_

"_Please…"_

* * *

"Blaine! It's Ok."

"What?" A warm hand was pressed against his shoulder, concerned eyes studying him carefully.

"I think you were having another nightmare."

Blaine sat up, rubbing his eyes while feeling his boxers and t-shirt cling onto his sweat drenched body. "What did I do?"

Puck just shook his head. "You didn't do anything. Just sweating and twitching a lot."

"You have to stop coming home in the middle of the night."

"What? You're always like this when I'm not here?" Puck's eyebrows twisted as he reached for the bottle of water next to the bed, handing it over.

"No. But I only have them when you're not here." Blaine jerked slightly at the hand patting him on the back, before forcing himself to relax into the touch. "Or used to."

Puck's instinct was to remove his hand, but on a second thought he decided to leave it, giving Blaine's shoulder a little shake. "Same as last time?"

"Yup." Blaine downed almost the whole bottle of water before pulling the wet t-shirt over his head and throwing it next to the bed. "You know what, I'm sorry."

Once again Puck's eyebrows twisted in confusion "What for?"

"I'm sorry that we haven't had sex in weeks. I miss it. I miss you. Your arm is fine now, we should do it."

"Now?" The confusion turned into concern within a couple of seconds.

"Not right now, obviously." Blaine pointed a finger at his head, where shining, wet curls were clinging to his forehead. "But tonight."

Puck visibly relaxed. "Ok. I just kind of assumed you were dealing with some stuff and didn't want to. And, you know, my arm."

Now it was Blaine's turn to reach out, settling a hand on Puck's leg. "I'm not broken, Puck."

"I never said you were." He looked down at the hand resting on his leg, smiling to himself before looking back up. "Wait, is that a challenge?"

Blaine smiled back at him, raising his eyebrows. "Depends. Do you accept?" He laughed. "I'll need to be wined and dined first though, so the rig is up. Emphasis on the 'wined', by the way."

Puck's face came closer, letting his hands grab onto Blaine's hips. "Oh, I'll make sure you're good and ready. Then I'll have you bend over the kitchen table."

"Oh, really…" Blaine let himself fall back onto the pillows, Puck right above him, hands up and down his sides while a mouth left ghostly imprints along his neck.

"Someone's been lacking a little discipline lately, think it's time I set you straight."

"Uh huh…"

"And that's sir to you, by the way."

Blaine felt a strong hand hold his hip to flip him over, another rapidly landing on his backside while he dug his face into the pillow, letting out a soft moan to the sound of the playful slap filling the room. He looked up. "Again..."

Instead, the sound of an alarm bounced between the walls this time. Blaine pulled himself back up again, while Puck picked up his cellphone to shut it off. "Saved by the bell." He smiled down at Blaine.

"What a shame. Because I would rock your world."

* * *

"Come here." Puck reached out a hand towards Blaine, pulling him off the kitchen chair to lead him into the bedroom. It was almost pitch black, save for the yellow light of street lanterns seeping in through the slightly ajar window.

They stood in the middle of the room, Puck searching for those eyes he'd once fallen into and gotten lost in more than ten years ago, not having to search for long because since they contained a part of him he kind of always knew where they were. And they were right here, in front of him.

Blaine let his hands travel to Puck's hips, climbing up carefully to grab onto his t-shirt, face close to Puck's chest as he took a deep breath through his nose against the soft fabric.

Taking half a step back, Puck pulled the t-shirt over his head and threw it on the side, only to return one second later. His hands travelled up and down Blaine's back, who was slowly working on the buttons of his shirt, one by one.

Puck thought about how crazy it was that Blaine's eyes could shine so bright in such an insignificant amount of light. How sexy he looked, when he grabbed onto a belt loop on Puck's jeans, pulling him on top of him on the bed. He thought about how Blaine was the first and only person he'd ever met, other than his mother, who made him want to be a better person, who made him feel so strong and so weak and helpless at the same time and Puck didn't mind because he was so exhausted from pretending to be so tough all the time.

Finally under the covers Blaine started to turn over, stopped by a hand on his shoulder keeping him with his back pressed against the mattress. Puck pushed a pillow under Blaine's hips, settling between his legs, who looked up at him in anticipation.

He thought about how the tremble in Blaine's lip made him want to bite it, and how vulnerable he looked when he threw his head back against the pillow while at the same time somehow managing to be completely in control as Puck worked his fingers on him. About how with every thrust his head shifted down a little bit making it just about visible in the soft light, exposing two almost invisible dents in his nose, both the outcome of painful situations out of at least one years later was allowed to turn into something hopeful instead of something hopeless.

He thought about how the whiny noises Blaine was making were the hottest things he ever heard and, if he tried his hardest to block out almost everything else, somewhere in the distance he could hear the sound of the world, rocking.

_**FIN**_

* * *

_Hope you enjoyed and thanks for reading!_


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